Tag Archives: Update

The Great 180

I think I might have overcome the depressive episode, or starting to. Which is great. I’m not yet doing the things I fully should, but i’ve got headway on a few things.

    I have been searching for a new job
    I have ordered my planner for my hustle & flow.
    My mom bought me candles for my evenings to relax
    I have been waking up rested so far!
  • I have ordered my vitamins from Care/Of for my health and wellness.

It’s going good so far. Not much has been accomplished, but I feel positive about how things are going.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

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Hypomania Or Depression

Not sure if hypomanic or just have a lot of ideas…

Yea, that’s pretty much what’s on my mind right now. I stayed up all day and part of the night searching for jobs. I barely slept. Then woke up at 3AM back to money making ideas.

This poses a problem.

I seem to have the flight of ideas similar to hypomania, but the energy of it is fading quickly. So yea, i’m not sure, but I have a lot of ideas. Of course, if there is a lack of energy, then there is no will to implement any of these ideas. And i’m back to square one. Wow! Couldn’t be worse!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Update On Depressive Episode

Here I am, recovering from my depressive episode, thinking about how to be a better person, for everyone.

I’ve applied to 2 jobs, so let’s see how this goes.

I thought I had cracked the code to side gigs, but look at me. I haven’t totally. I’ve stuck my toes in, but i’m not completely there. Well, let’s say i’m up to my knee. Some things I just haven’t jumped into just yet, because, well that would be bad. I have to let it process a bit. Some things, a lot!

I’m on my way to seeing a psychologist. Sooner than later, but they haven’t contacted me yet.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Small Update

I’ve had a better past two days. Still sleeping excessively, but i’m getting the rest that I need.

I’ve been promoting my book, and sharing it with others. It’s still a crapshoot, though. Not the best book. Only 9 pages. I’m hoping it helps someone, if anyone. I put a lot of thought into it.

Work is stressful. Book promoting is stressful. Taking care of a home that you share with your boyfriend is stressful. Marriage is another discussion, because, I am not married yet, and i’m dying to marry. Not so much have kids.

Another book is in the making, though!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

I Took A Huge Step Forward Yesterday

So, I have applied for some jobs.

Being on disability is hard. For me, it’s a miracle, but then it is also a curse. It helps with financial difficulties, no doubt. As well as, getting the medical care I need for my mental health, and being able to afford my medication.

But then, it is like I curse. I sit at home all day, alone, doing random things. I don’t get proper exercise, I haven’t made friends in years, etc, stuff that having a job would provide. So I definitely needed that change in my life. For about 6 years I’ve been going to a county clinic that aided by providing group support, as well as, therapy, and psychiatric help.

I need a change, and I hope this job can provide, as I also cannot afford the monthly income I receive with disability.

Let’s hope for the best!

When Does Change Become Inevitable?

I’ve been through so many changes within the past year. I left a relationship and went into another one. I’m starting a job soon, as well as possibly moving places.

All of which I fear, so much, but when does change become inevitable? When is change required? In my case, my life has stopped, almost completely. Single-handedly. Because of my fear. I’m on disability and can no longer support my life with the little money I get. Which is why I am getting a job. I’m not completely goal-oriented as some folks are, which is why I fail to finish tasks on my own. It seems like it doesn’t matter how disabled I am mentally, I still cannot support myself on the dollars I receive.

As far as the moving…well, that’s because i’ve left a relationship and entered a new one. One which I do hope ends in marriage.

We will see, but it’s a huge jump for me, all of this. I want to figure out my destiny and my future, with everything. If you guys know me, i’m a dreamer. A huge dreamer. And life doesn’t treat dreamers well.

But we will see where everything goes.

Mother’s Day Update

This is just an update.

Over Mother’s Day I was thinking about how much older my mom was getting and how much older my father was getting since Father’s Day is right next month. My father is almost 70…My mother almost 60. I am only 24.

I was just sad, kind of. Almost upset. They had me in their 30’s and 40’s. They are 10 years apart.

I feel as if they will not see me finish college. I don’t know how to feel, but I feel a bit upset and really depressed about it.

I’ve been having hallucinations, voices, paranoia, and lots and lots of anxiety. I’ve been taking my medicine like clockwork. My xanax even more so.

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