Tag Archives: twitter

Food For Thought

Good morning!

I have something hard to admit. I’m back to smoking cigarettes again, sometimes. My Love got back on them, and then so did I. I’m sorry, guys.

With that aside, and off my chest, I want to start the day on a good note. I know I will probably become depressed by noon. I don’t know how I came up with that, but I always seem to be depressed by then.

I recently had a bit of a fallout with a friend. It was my last straw with them. I helped them numerous times over the past few years to deal with their BPD and relationship issues. Everytime they called or texted, I answered. Now with me having a rough past month, they’ve been on vacation and haven’t answered my calls or texts. I’m tired of giving my all to people who can’t give their all to me. If you can’t give your all to me, and I’M giving you my all…fuck it then. Ima let you go.

I wish people would interact with my blog more. I’m not sure how many people are completely seeing it, but I would love some feedback. About anything. Maybe what I should post more of, or if you have any questions about me.

You can follow me on Twitter, if you’d like: @TheRecoveryLife

Or on Instagram: @LifeLoveRecovery

I want to leave you guys with a semi-motivational quote:

“Memories are meant to serve you, not enslave you.” – someone

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

I Took A Huge Step Forward Yesterday

So, I have applied for some jobs.

Being on disability is hard. For me, it’s a miracle, but then it is also a curse. It helps with financial difficulties, no doubt. As well as, getting the medical care I need for my mental health, and being able to afford my medication.

But then, it is like I curse. I sit at home all day, alone, doing random things. I don’t get proper exercise, I haven’t made friends in years, etc, stuff that having a job would provide. So I definitely needed that change in my life. For about 6 years I’ve been going to a county clinic that aided by providing group support, as well as, therapy, and psychiatric help.

I need a change, and I hope this job can provide, as I also cannot afford the monthly income I receive with disability.

Let’s hope for the best!

Panic Attacks & My Clinic + Updates

Ok first I’ll be honest I cant guarantee that i will always be writing here. Im on forums a lot and other forms of social media. I also write in a pen & paper journal.

Though, I’ve decided to update this page a little bit.

I’ve added:

My twitter account (Which I use pretty frequently)

My Youtube page/V-log/Video Blog

Other random widgets to make my page look nice.

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My psychiatrist recommended me more therapy, but my therapist is hesitant to give me more therapy. They work at the same clinic, in the same building and down the hall from each other. Yet they both aren’t aware of each others treatments on me. Makes no sense. Ever since my old therapist there resigned, this new therapist has been treating me like i’m just another dollar to her. Which I probably am.

I only get therapy 30 minutes, once a month.

Re-read that. It’s true.

I can’t afford more right now or for awhile and I can’t afford to quit therapy.

I feel entirely on my own. Im trying to go back to school. A job is out of the question. Sometimes I dont see the point. Right now I have a little more optimism in life than usual. Thats only because going back to school is giving me something to live for. Although I dont always want to do it. I dont go face to face. I go online.

My panic attacks since the past two months have been so severe. I curl up into a ball sometimes. I vomit. I tremble and shake. I’m physically bent over in mental pain. I sweat. My field of vision narrows. I feel like I’m going to black out. Sometimes I wake up with anxiety. Every night I goto bed with anxiety.

I have called my therapist about it. She has never returned my call…

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