Tag Archives: ssdi

There’s A Little Hiccup

Most of my immediate family AND friends have expressed that I should really think about keeping my disability, and the insurance from it, instead of getting legally married.

I understand why. At the same time, I wish I could live a normal life like everybody does, and get married, get a job, have kids, and goto college. Unfortunately, I cannot do that for one reason, or another.

1. I’m not capable of having a full time job. Due to my illness, and everyone around me knows that. I know that, too. Perhaps I’m so wrapped up in the love aspect, and feelings, of my relationship, that I fail to see that. I know many reading this may think I seem intelligent, or smart. I am. Although, due to medications and living with a psychotic disorder, I am unable to hold a full time job.

2. It’s obvious. Anyone who knows disability inside and out, knows you lose everything taking on normality. Because, it means you’re capable. Which I am not FULLY. I’m getting there, but not there just yet.

So i’m taking heed to what everyone has expressed. I won’t get legally married probably, at all. At least, not yet.

And complications with my relationship with my mother, even if I do have any kind of ceremony, she will probably not go. Unfortunately!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

I Took A Huge Step Forward Yesterday

So, I have applied for some jobs.

Being on disability is hard. For me, it’s a miracle, but then it is also a curse. It helps with financial difficulties, no doubt. As well as, getting the medical care I need for my mental health, and being able to afford my medication.

But then, it is like I curse. I sit at home all day, alone, doing random things. I don’t get proper exercise, I haven’t made friends in years, etc, stuff that having a job would provide. So I definitely needed that change in my life. For about 6 years I’ve been going to a county clinic that aided by providing group support, as well as, therapy, and psychiatric help.

I need a change, and I hope this job can provide, as I also cannot afford the monthly income I receive with disability.

Let’s hope for the best!

My Slight Increase In Stressors Would Be A Major Life Change For You

Not happy about the county mental health clinic changing my psychiatrist up on me. RIGHT before I leave out the door when I am making my appointment. It upset me so much that I felt the need to runaway for about a week or so.

im currently trying to make plans to take off somewhere in the united states, OTHER than this state. anywhere but here.

For a bit I thought I thought I was doing well with no voices for about a week or two. I just realized an hour ago I have been hearing them even more. I sort of know why. I think the slight increase in stress with getting my insurance cut off, even though I know medicare will replace it. Also definitely the change in my psychiatrists put on me out of the blue (EXTREMELY angry about that). And other stuff. I just didnt notice because ive been paying less attention to if i am hearing voices and just interacted with them more I guess. Which is probably why Ive felt less bored. Just to be honest.

I want to get away from most of this mental health stuff someday. Instead of engaging in analyzing stuff like “am I hearing voices more” or something of that nature. I have been doing well to get away from it the past few months. But more I get away from it though the more it comes towards me in some way.

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