Tag Archives: job

Hypomania Or Depression

Not sure if hypomanic or just have a lot of ideas…

Yea, that’s pretty much what’s on my mind right now. I stayed up all day and part of the night searching for jobs. I barely slept. Then woke up at 3AM back to money making ideas.

This poses a problem.

I seem to have the flight of ideas similar to hypomania, but the energy of it is fading quickly. So yea, i’m not sure, but I have a lot of ideas. Of course, if there is a lack of energy, then there is no will to implement any of these ideas. And i’m back to square one. Wow! Couldn’t be worse!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Met With A Job Counselor

I had an appointment with my job counselor yesterday, and we talked about everything going on with me. My low energy, my depression, and me not working the past three weeks.

He’s sending me to a psychologist so I can talk everything out. He also listened to me while I spoke about everything. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t want to embarrass myself. He’s just my job counselor.

. . .

I also would like to spend more time with My Love, but he’s so into his video games and tv, it’s hard. Will talk more about that later.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Everything Is Looking Up

Yes, it is.

Everything is looking up so much for me. I’m looking towards booking a trip later in the year, Valentine’s Day is coming up, my book, etc. Oh I just could go on with the dozens of things going so well. It’s so exciting, and I feel like i’m actually living the dream that I’ve ALWAYS dreamed of.

It’s weird, because I always saw greatness in myself. I always saw potential, but either people told me to not dream too big, or do this or that, or even my own past getting me down. And I just couldn’t reconcile the fact that I felt something big was going to happen.

It’s also weird, because I felt like I had the key to something in this world. I was told time and time again, by mental health providers thats I was delusional and incompetent, I flowed with that, too! Can you believe that?! I almost consider my own self a joke for believing that.

But here I am. I’m here. It’s not a dream. It’s not a prank. I’m actually here. Excuse me while I live on cloud 9 for awhile!

Oh my. And the thing is, it’s only going to get better. I feel it. I sense it.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Redundancy

I was warned…

…about the redundancy of jobs. Having a job, period.

I had an episode last night. You could call it a psychotic episode if you want. I just got a little off track in my mind, and started talking about people following me. Something My Love has only seen a few times. So it was pretty embarrassing and hard for me. It started with a panic attack, and ended with paranoia about people.

How does that and a job tie in together? Well, I’m probably getting stressed out. I signed up for many jobs this past month. Probably 4. Along with writing my book and keeping up with this blog. So, that, on top of everything else I have to do like keep up house while My Love is at work, is very stressful for me. It’d be stressful on anyone, but add in someone like me who deals with mental health problems, and only has been able to function normally for about 4 years now.

*BREATHE*

Ok. So I’m not exactly taking a break. I’m not exactly gonna do much to handle this right now. Because I have not worked for almost 2 weeks now. I’ve been burnt out, and depressed.

With that said. I DID want to document this. I’m normal. I’m mentally ill. My Love tells me all the time, “Quit sitting in a dark room, in silence, on your phone all day”. He’s so right, and I need to stop, but I did that for almost 10 years while being sick. It’s a hard habit to break.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Second Day Doing Instacart

Yep. Second day working for Instacart, and it’s been a complete bust both days.

No batches, no orders = No work. Period. For two days.

The day started with it reminding me about shift, 30 minutes before it started. It actively looks for orders the whole shift. So you don’t have to. Unfortunately, there’s no hotspots in my area where orders are more or less. I talked to customer support and I learned it’s just my area. Although, they really aren’t much help.

I really want this to work out. I do have high hopes and high expectations, because it’s just the perfect job (working from my phone all day). We will see, though. I will give it a week, maybe two, and reevaluate it. Or perhaps, just have it as a side “side” job.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Good News Just Keeps Coming

I’m really racking it in with good news. It literally just keeps coming, and it’s all so exciting!

My love got recommended at his job (which he’s only had a month) to be a manager-in-training! How great is that?! On top of a gift card to the store as a Christmas present. 

I’m starting my job with Instacart soon; part time job as a personal shopper. I’m having motivation to start maybe an etsy business, as well. We will see where all this goes, but I am very happy, and very motivated. On top of our move being successful. 

Everything is looking up. So much so, that the past, and the people of my past, are no longer relevant, i’m happy to say!

Thanks so much! And, until next time!

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