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Food For Thought

Good morning!

I have something hard to admit. I’m back to smoking cigarettes again, sometimes. My Love got back on them, and then so did I. I’m sorry, guys.

With that aside, and off my chest, I want to start the day on a good note. I know I will probably become depressed by noon. I don’t know how I came up with that, but I always seem to be depressed by then.

I recently had a bit of a fallout with a friend. It was my last straw with them. I helped them numerous times over the past few years to deal with their BPD and relationship issues. Everytime they called or texted, I answered. Now with me having a rough past month, they’ve been on vacation and haven’t answered my calls or texts. I’m tired of giving my all to people who can’t give their all to me. If you can’t give your all to me, and I’M giving you my all…fuck it then. Ima let you go.

I wish people would interact with my blog more. I’m not sure how many people are completely seeing it, but I would love some feedback. About anything. Maybe what I should post more of, or if you have any questions about me.

You can follow me on Twitter, if you’d like: @TheRecoveryLife

Or on Instagram: @LifeLoveRecovery

I want to leave you guys with a semi-motivational quote:

“Memories are meant to serve you, not enslave you.” – someone

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Here’s My Confession

So I seemingly keep having breakdown, after breakdown, after breakdown. And crying spells, this week.

Here’s the real deal, I’ve been pretty much an “invalid” for 10 years. I say that because I’ve been laying in my bed all day, everyday, for that long.

The first 4 years of that I was very sick with psychosis, and on very heavy pills, and high doses of them, the couple of years after that. Now I am in recovery, but it’s slow, very slow. I’ve been in recovery for 3-4 years now. Each year gets better, but damn, it’s so slow. I’d say every year, I probably only accomplish 2-3 things. A mix of small and big things.

Today, My Love said that, that’s how he sees me, is in bed all day. And I was gutted. It hurt so much, thinking about how much I am keeping him from doing the things he wants to do. And i’m floored. Just floored. I just don’t want him to think he is with the wrong person.

Honestly, I don’t know what to say right now, other than I am still fighting. I have gotten tested for thyroid issues and diabetes. I am on Vitamin D, and I have tried a SAD lamp, and so many different vitamins and therapy. I’m so lost as it is now.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

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