Daily Archives: January 31, 2019

There’s A Little Hiccup

Most of my immediate family AND friends have expressed that I should really think about keeping my disability, and the insurance from it, instead of getting legally married.

I understand why. At the same time, I wish I could live a normal life like everybody does, and get married, get a job, have kids, and goto college. Unfortunately, I cannot do that for one reason, or another.

1. I’m not capable of having a full time job. Due to my illness, and everyone around me knows that. I know that, too. Perhaps I’m so wrapped up in the love aspect, and feelings, of my relationship, that I fail to see that. I know many reading this may think I seem intelligent, or smart. I am. Although, due to medications and living with a psychotic disorder, I am unable to hold a full time job.

2. It’s obvious. Anyone who knows disability inside and out, knows you lose everything taking on normality. Because, it means you’re capable. Which I am not FULLY. I’m getting there, but not there just yet.

So i’m taking heed to what everyone has expressed. I won’t get legally married probably, at all. At least, not yet.

And complications with my relationship with my mother, even if I do have any kind of ceremony, she will probably not go. Unfortunately!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

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Everything Is Looking Up

Yes, it is.

Everything is looking up so much for me. I’m looking towards booking a trip later in the year, Valentine’s Day is coming up, my book, etc. Oh I just could go on with the dozens of things going so well. It’s so exciting, and I feel like i’m actually living the dream that I’ve ALWAYS dreamed of.

It’s weird, because I always saw greatness in myself. I always saw potential, but either people told me to not dream too big, or do this or that, or even my own past getting me down. And I just couldn’t reconcile the fact that I felt something big was going to happen.

It’s also weird, because I felt like I had the key to something in this world. I was told time and time again, by mental health providers thats I was delusional and incompetent, I flowed with that, too! Can you believe that?! I almost consider my own self a joke for believing that.

But here I am. I’m here. It’s not a dream. It’s not a prank. I’m actually here. Excuse me while I live on cloud 9 for awhile!

Oh my. And the thing is, it’s only going to get better. I feel it. I sense it.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

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