Daily Archives: December 9, 2018

This Is Unlike Me

It’s very unlikely, and unlike me to write in my blog so much. Considering it has 50-something posts for the past 5 years (total).

Something happened between me and my love tonight. We went back and forth for a minute about spending time together. I cried my eyes out the other night, because he is so into his video games, and not into spending time with me when he gets off work. So today, he wanted to spend time with me, but I was too tired.

Truth is, i’m always tired, lethargic, and sometimes cranky. I’ve been sleeping from 10 or 11PM to about 11AM or later. That’s just been the past week or two, but that isn’t uncommon for me. It’s happened before.

I talked to my friends, and told them the situation. They considered if I might be depressed. I told them I am losing my hair, as well. Well, I recently got tested for thyroid problems, and the reports came back negative. Nothing. Tested for diabetes. Negative, too.

I wish I had an answer, as my goto answer is always “my meds make me tired”. Well they did for many years. Now? I’m not so sure anymore, but something is wrong. Whether i’m depressed, sick (physically), whether it’s the medication, or something entirely different.  

Either way, my current regimen for this is Vitamin D, as per my D.O. 

I am depressed to an extent. Maybe I don’t know how much. I do know that I need some new hobbies, new friends…something like that, to keep me busy. All this idle time at this new place, it’s just deadly, I feel like.

Thank you for reading, and until next time!

(And if anyone reading has suggestions, or can relate, please comment. I will reply!)

Advertisements

All My Life I Had To Fight

I really hope this title isn’t misleading. On God, I had to fight.

I had to deal with my mental illness overcoming me, and people belittling me because I wasn’t “all there”. To them, I was just nothing. Or at least I’d never amount to anything. To them, I was just going to be on disability for the rest of my life. Never work. Never succeed in college. Never do much of anything, if I did ANYTHING at all.

I’m here to say that, that is over with. I got a nice, decent place with my love, i’m trying to goto work (pretty much already have a job), i’m becoming INDEPENDENT. Something people thought i’d never do.

And here I am. Folks, this is mental health recovery at it’s finest.

If you have ever doubted yourself, look at me. I went from pretty much catatonic to independent in 5 years. Quite seriously.

(Pictured: My love, his dog, my cat)

%d bloggers like this: