Blog For Mental Health 2015

“I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2015 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.”  

I started having symptoms around when I was about 9 years old. I would become paranoid when my parents went to work. I figured what they were really doing was going to a secret warehouse complete with cameras and microphones, watching my every move in the house, through the tv screens.

I got older and I noticed kids and teens around my school would follow me, legitamely bully me, and watch me. I supposed they were planning to jump me or possibly kill me. I had to goto my first psychiatric hospital at 13, for depression and self injury. The first of about 20+ later on down the line. Rumors spread around the school about me that I possibly killed myself, or went to jail, because of my prolonged absence from school.

Everything went left when I got about 17, I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder. Had been through numerous hospitalizations by that age that were horrifying. A psychiatrist attempted to have me committed to a residential treatment facility. I got out of that somehow.

Fast forward to now, I’m 24. Between 18 and 24 (now), I’ve been hauled off to many psych facilites by law enforcement, on disability, and almost had charges against me for assaulting someone who I thought was following me and watching my every move.

Thats a very small summary of my life with mental health. I hope you enjoyed reading it.



  1. Kim Ford says:

    My name is Kim Ford, I live in a small town in Mississippi. I have a 20 year old son diagnosed with schizophrenia in July, 2014. I had diagnosed him in February, 2014 myself from reading everything I could get my hands on to find out what was happening to him. My son was the all American young man before this so it is still very new to me and I still struggle daily with it. Just yesterday he was helping do dishes and looks over at me and his sisters and says ” I’m bisexual.” We were all thrown for a loop because of the randomness of the comment. He has never shown signs of being bisexual before. I’m not bothered by him saying he is bisexual but by the sudden outburst of it. I’m searching for answers or just support really with a lot of unanswered questions I have. I think I have printed almost everything I could get my hands on from the internet but I am still very adamant about finding out anything and everything there is to know about this disease. Do you think you could shed some light on this for me? I’m sorry if I’m bothering you. I feel like the grieving mother of a child who has died to be honest but I relive it everyday seeing him but as a different person. If that makes any sense at all. Any help is welcome.
    Thank you,


    • Moze Pray says:

      Im sorry to hear about your son. I cant say why or give an explanation as to why he said what he said. I dont know him, and with this illness, anything could be going on in his head. He could be saying anything off the top of his head or he could be bisexual, i dont know. You shouldnt grieve. Hes still very much alive, just not in a good place right now probably and probably struggling. Im sorry I couldnt be of more help to you but your free to read anything I have on my site.



      • Kim says:

        Do you have any advice for me on how I can be of the most help to him? It seems everything I do is wrong or doesn’t help at all. I want so much to help. I really want to understand more of what he is going through, going on in his head but he is so distant. He doesn’t have conversations with anyone anymore. He just answers yes or no to my questions. I really want to understand so I can help him.


      • Moze Pray says:

        The most important thing you can do is listen to him. Even if he says just “yes” or “no”. Are you taking him to a psychiatrist or therapist? That may be of help. I dont know what he likes to do but you may can spend time with him. Doing little thing like washing dishes, driving him somewhere, or watching tv together, etc can be a good place to strike up questions where you can ask him detailed questions. At the same time I wouldnt grill him or ask him questions all the time or it might make him not want to talk even more.


      • Kim says:

        Thank you for helping me. I just have one more question and I will leave you alone. I’m a little confused by the videos, blogs and literature I’ve read from people living with schizophrenia. I do understand that there are different levels of this illness. What I don’t get is why he tell me the things he’s experiencing like you and others I’ve seen. I know a lot of people living with this mental illness don’t have support but he does. I’m sorry, I’mjust so desperate to help. My heart is broken. My job as a mother is to make my children feel better when they are sick, comfort them when they are sad, etc. For the first time in my sons life he’s hurting inside and I am helpless.


    • Moze Pray says:

      I dont know why he wont tell you. Everyone has their reasons why they wont tell someone something, no matter how close they are to them. Or maybe he doesnt know how to tell you something. It could be anything.


    • Moze Pray says:

      Im happy to answer any of your questions. So you dont have to stop, its just that I dont know whats going on in someones personal mind, so its hard to answer really personal questions about someone else. This illness can be similar but its also varies from person to person.


      • Kim says:

        Thank you so much for your help. I have learned the most from blogs and videos on YouTube from people trying to help others. I just wish my son would be more open. It worries me a lot because he is very depressed all the time. He went from having tons of friends and girlfriends to almost total isolation. He tries to hang out with friends but they don’t understand and blow him off. If he does go somewhere with them I think its just for their entertainment and he doesn’t understand that. I see them laughing or making fun of him and he doesn’t realize it. Sometimes I feel like he’s in denial about all of it. He just seems so lost and very lonely. He’s almost 21 so hanging out with me 24/7 is really not his idea of fun. I’m very afraid of him becoming suicidal so I don’t leave him alone for any length of time. Anyway, I could go on and on. Just thank you so much for having the courage to share your story. I don’t understand it all and probably never will but I will never give up on trying to help him either.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Moze | The Official Blog For Mental Health Project

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